Gay Names vs Straight Names

I was at a party here in Denver - tons of people. A post - pandemic crazy night. A good mix of straights and gays. As I made my way through the crowd - drinking - having fun etc I noticed there were many gay men named Christopher, Daniel, Michael, Peter, Samuel, Joshua etc. The straights were Chris, Danny, Mike, Pete, Sam and Josh. I've noticed this ALOT lately - at parties, work -- out a bars etc. Why don't gay men have nicknames or shortened names? Is this a trend?

I shorten my name but I refuse to let my husband shorten his.

[quote]I've noticed this ALOT lately

But you've never noticed that "ALOT" isn't a word?

Lesbians do - Mel, Val, Kim, Jess, Suze, Bex, Liz, Peg and the other gals.

Interesting video. It says the older generations used "fussy" long names to distinguish themselves.

Most everyone at the party was over 40 - so it makes sense they were still using 'fussy" names.

R4 that guy has the shortest smallest pecs I've ever seen

Gay men over 40 were doing this 40 years ago, so trend is not the right word.

Some part of it was a perceived class distinction, another part just a way to distinguish gays from straights.

Gay men are more formal and dapper, straight men more casual

It is a generation of Diane Chamberses, calling Cliff Clifford, and Norm Norman.

Actually, I tend to call my friends by their full names Doug is Douglas, Tim is Timothy, Vince is Vincent, Mitch is Mitchell - other people use the shortened version. Though I call my friend John Johan, even though that isn't his name.

I knew a very WASPy guy who never alluded to any exoticism greater than the American suburbs who change his name from David (not Dave) to Dafvyde or some equally odd "with an 'e' - any a 'y' and an 'f'" or maybe it was two "f"s.

His explanation was that he loved everything French. And affected, evenly. It was prounced like a French "David."

This was before Little Britain and "I am the only gay in the village."

I thought that was pretty gay

Bruce is always gay whether in the short form or long.

No, there's no connection between how your parents named you and your sexuality.

R12 Thanks for playing, Bruce.

I know a lot of guys named Mark (or Marc) that are gay.

As long as I don't have to deal with a "Mychal". That just makes me cringe, and is eyeroll inducing.

Everyone named Mark or Rick or Steve is gay.

As a Michael, the most popular name for nearly fifty years, 1954-1998 with the exception of 1960 when it was number two, it was a way of trying to distinguish myself from the herd of Mike Ls, Mike Ts, Mike Cs, and so on. We all pretty much rejected Mikey after the Life cereal debacle, and Micha and Misha never caught on nor did we ever go the Topher route and become Chael. There just weren’t many easy nickname options like those Elizabeth bitches. So, after I learned how to actually spell Michael in about third grade, (bitches it’s hard for a dyslexic and someone taught to “sound out words”) I went to Michael to at least have my own identifier in the classroom and not be known as Mike X.

r17 I am on an LGBTQ grief support page on Facebook and it seems like a lot of us lost partners named Steve. A lot of Roberts also.

[quote]Everyone named Mark or Rick or Steve is gay.

Uh-oh.

[quote]Why don't gay men have nicknames or shortened names?

Because our brains are larger and consequently we didn't have difficulty remembering or spelling the longer names.

It's more prissy and refined to stick to the original name. I do with mine even though it has a common shortened variant.

[quote] A post - pandemic crazy night.

No, OP. No, not post-pandemic. It ain't over. It ain't anyplace close to over.

Be careful with your crazy nights.

My partner and I own two of those names in OP's list. It's a 50/50 chance that people will use the shorter form of our names and we don't really care. In fact we often use those short forms ourselves.

Don’t know about gay men, but half of all gay women don’t even use their birth names. And the ones who do militantly use a variant spelling.

I don't like gay Steves, they are usually theater queens or whatnot.

Gay Stevens are ok. Gay Stephens even better.

I have gay friends called Steve, Rich, Matt, Rick, Rob, Josh, and one called Brandon but you can't really call him anything else.

Do they also have track lighting?

My best gay friend and I call each other "baby" names. Think "Robbey" and "Tommy". We are the only ones who use them. We're 65 and 55. My friend's husband snorts and rolls his eyes whenever he hears it.

Is this insufferable? Is it common among gay men?

Gays and Blacks have been doing that for decades.

If someone was James he was gay or black. It's changed in the last 20 years as douchebags got in on the code.

I have always gone by a shortened version of my name and when addressed by my full name, I say something like "only my aunts called me by that".

The -y diminutives seem to have died out a couple generations ago. They were particularly common in some ethnic groups (Irish and Italian come to mind) but pretty widespread and then seemed to die out for everyone.

Jonathan is a prissy name.

This one gay friend, when I first met him insisted that I call him William, not Bill even though I had never called him Bill, he said everyone calls him William. Eventually I met some of his relatives and they all called him Bill.

A tells his friend "I know Tom is from Thomas and Mike is Michael, but how do you get Dick from Richard?" Friend replies "Ask nicely."

Femme gay guys will often use their middle names and insist people call them by both--I suspect they think it sounds Klassy.

So "OMG Sebastian Thomas! Is that the new Prada lip gloss!"

"OMG! Yesss!!! Steven Christopher works there and gave me a free sample before they introduced it!!!!"

Maybe it’s a maturity thing, rather than a sexual identity thing.

Could it be most straight guys suffer from arrested development?

They encourage others to use their boyhood nicknames into adulthood?

Asking for the longer version of your name means you wish to be taken seriously; asking for the shorter version means you wish to be thought of informally.

OP, if you really want us to call you Polly!!! instead of Mary!!! it's fine with us.

That is, if we ever were to bother to call you.

R37 This trend makes me want to barf. So fucking pretentious.

You’re still called “asshole” behind your back.

Gays like ELEGANZA and longer names convey just that.

This was actually a joke on an episode of 30 Rock back in 2010.

"His name is James. Not Jim, not Jimmy. [italic] Jamesss.[/italic]"

Reminds of a time (in the 80s?) when working class girls thought it was "high class" to replace their middle name with maiden name, Mrs. Mary Louise Jones became Mary Walker Jones. And to be more High Class used a hyphen ,Mary Walker-Jones.

Hi Im Christopher Michael Justin. I have a bunch of first names but no last name. I’m a total asshole.

Lol r3 I never noticed it but you are right.

I know a gay Matthew who refuses to allow his name to be shortened to Matt.

He's quite rude if people forget.

Olivia Newton John has three first names.

R49 He’s an asshole. Most likely white trash trying to see more important than he is.

There was a bit on "Modern Family" (note that it was Mitchell and Cam) about gay Angelenos and their names. I don't remember the setup but they were in a shop and the sales guy was "Joey." Mitchell commented on someone having a forthright name, but he then explained that it was spelled something like "J-O-I-Y-Y-E."

Mitchell: "And there we go."

many gay men named Christopher, Daniel, Michael, Peter, Samuel, Joshua etc. The straights were Chris, Danny, Mike, Pete, Sam and Josh.

CHRIS Colfer

DAN Levy

MIKE Doyle

PETE Buttigieg

SAM Youknowwho

JOSH Strickland

R54 Great .. but you know exactly what we’re talking about. Don’t try to act like you don’t.

R55 Well, aren’t you accusatory!

[quote] It's more prissy and refined to stick to the original name.

Prissy, yes. Refined, not necessarily.

When introduced, I guess some people try to be friendly and call me Steve.

Hello, my name is Stephen. I was just introduced to you. No one mentioned a Steve.

Had nothing to do with Klass R46 and everything to do with avoiding confusion.

If she was Mary Smith (maiden name) at work and had kids with Mr. Jones, it was easier to be "Mary Smith Jones" so that everyone at school and at work could figure out who she was.

As an elder Bruce,I grew up with my name being used for the stereotypical gay male name in every stand-up comic’s requisite fag joke. ThenBruce Springsteen and Bruce Willis came along (yes, I know, they are both DL gay). I actually don’t think I know anyone younger than myself named Bruce. Of course, I joke that my parents were prescient when they named. My best friend’s name was Gary—I have known three gay Garys (all born in the50s—mothers infatuated with Gary Cooper?).

Sorry for your loss, R20.

How did Bruce get that connotation?

Seems like it was a common enough Boomer name and not pretentious

I’ve met many Trent’s, Bryce’s, Kip’s and Dewey’s who’ve been fey and gay every time.

Many Marks are gay. Every Marc is gay.

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